


honey i am not your martyr

by smallredboy



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, He/Him Pronouns For Uriel (Good Omens), Love Confessions, Nonbinary Character, Other, The Fall (Good Omens), Ze/Zir Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 19:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21184493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: Bells and Uriel wait for zir Fall.





	honey i am not your martyr

**Author's Note:**

> for ladiesbingo with the square 'something or someone falls', hc-bingo with the square 'confession in desperate situation' and femslashficlets with the queer women's literature challenge.
> 
> "I knew that I couldn't lie beside her, without wanting to touch her. I couldn't have felt her breath upon my mouth, without wanting to kiss her. And I couldn't have kissed her, without wanting to save her." Sarah Waters, Fingersmith
> 
> title from st vincent's _savior_
> 
> enjoy!

Bells stays quiet for a long time, zir head tucked under Uriel’s jaw. They’re waiting for disaster to strike them, for Her to wake up and throw zir out, is terrifying. Lucifer has already fallen, all his friends coming along with him. The natural tick of the clock of zir demise is driving zir insane.

Ze draws in a shaky sigh. “I’m sorry,” ze starts.

Uriel doesn’t budge much. He presses a hand on the small of zir back, rubs a little, soothing. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” ze insists, hissing. “It’s not. I will never see you again. I enjoy Lucifer’s presence, he’s a good pal, sure, but —” Ze gets a little choked up; ze clenches zir jaw hard to not let the tears fall. Ze’s still not used to that new feature, tears. “But _ you _? I can’t. I can’t even begin to describe you.”

“Oh, Bells,” he says, threading a hand through zir hair. It’s always been short, down to zir chin, always perfectly taken care of, like everything else in Heaven. Except for this huge, huge problem that is being solved right in front of their eyes.

(Most angels aren’t too sure if they like the solution. But God has never been one for polls.)

“I shouldn’t have hung out with him.”

“What’s done has been done,” Uriel tells zir, ever so gently pulling zir away to look at zir better. “I will try to get back in contact with you, Bells. Michael is already creating back-channels for, ah, for their friend. Ligur, was his name?”

“Ligur,” ze agrees, zir throat scratchy and raw. “Yes, that is him.”

They stay in silence for a few minutes, basking in each other’s presence. Pretending that there is nothing going wrong, like their world isn’t falling apart as they hold each other. Outside from their little bubble, more and more angels are falling; like She is saving Bells for last. Like She knows ze is saying goodbye to zir closest friend. More than that, maybe, too, but the words are like figs in zir mouth.

“I wish I could save you,” he admits, face twisting.

“Well, you can’t.” Without a pause, ze adds, “what’s done has been done.”

Uriel grimaces even more. “Bells—”

“I know,” ze agrees, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I know. Let’s just stay while it lasts.”

But doom grows closer, grows nearer, like a clock that won’t stop ticking towards its eternal demise from Her Kingdom.

Uriel notices it first. He’s caressing zir face when he notices something off about zir usually perfect, pale, smooth skin. He pulls his hand away and there it is— rot. Zir face is rotting. He sucks in a gasp. “Bells.”

“What?” Ze looks up.

“Your face.”

Ze stays silent for a few seconds, it rotting more, and ze twists on Uriel’s embrace, cursing heavily. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, it’s already happening, God, it’s already happening! Shit!”

Uriel springs up, off the bed. “Bells—”

“I’m sorry,” ze says again, pulling him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry.” Hir stomach wobbles at the prospect of what this might mean, but before ze gets vanished, ze has to say it— “I love you.”

Uriel’s eyes widen. He pulls zir into a kiss, clinging onto zir, almost hoping their love will be enough for God to take mercy onto zir.

(It is not enough.)

“I love you too,” Uriel replies, desperately, voice scratchy with tears.

“I’m sorry,” Bells insists, even as zir voice grows weaker. “I’m sorry!”

“I know,” he insists too, uselessly, shaking a little with how much he wishes they had more time. “I know, I know.”

Before he can even get one last kiss after the first, ze is gone. Not even a hint of zir ever being in Uriel’s chambers; ze is gone, completely and utterly gone. There’s not a hint of zir existence anywhere in Heaven, he knows that much, even without going outside to check and look for it.

Uriel catches his breath, and before he can stop himself, his knees buckle and he falls onto the floor, shaking like a leaf. He curls up, hugs his knees.

He can’t help but wail for what is lost to Heaven.


End file.
